I love The Academy Is...

But it really doesn't. Or does it? Have I become numb to this? Finally. That's all I'd have to say about it. As angry as I am...I'm not. I really wasn't in the beginning. But I can definitely tell you the WRONG way to initiate a conversation when you want to know why someone's acting the way they are, I came face to face with it the other day and it just wiped my desire to say anything about it. If it sounds like it doesn't even matter to the other person, then why would I say it? Why in hell would I bother to choose my words carefully and say exactly why I feel the way I do when it sounds like the only reason for me to say so would be from spite? And I don't mean my OWN spite either. Yeah, these journals are bound to piss people off, but I'm writing them. Don't tell me to not stop caring. Don't tell me to patch things up. Don't tell me anything. What? I sound angry? Wonder why that could be...maybe I could have a hint? Would you like one too? I will NOT be the bad guy here. I'm NOT the bad guy. I'm not deluding myself. I'm saying there's only so much one can take before they can't take anymore, before they completely explode from someone else's crap that it doesn't matter to you anymore. The only baggage I take is what I choose to. And the majority of time, hell, almost ALL the time except now, I choose to take whatever someone wants to hand me. But now, I really want to just carry my own if that's alright with all of you. And it will have to be alright because if you give it to me without my consent, I'll shove it right back on you or, if you don't want to take it, I'll drop it on the ground and you better hope someone else will pick it up. If you have some angry crap to toss back in my face now, just shut up. Don't bother, it's a waste of your finger muscles, or voice if you want to tell me to my face. I'm not in the mood to defend my point, since the past...what, 7 journals have been me doing JUST THAT. Yeah, without anger for the most part, but it just set me right off, after yesterday. I mean, seriously, how much time do people think I have in my day?! Do I have time to have a conversation outside class? NO!!! Do YOU?!! If you do, then you've got a LOT of free time, more than I get anyway.

OH!!! BUT I FINISHED ADRENALINE!!!!! SHIZUKA, YOU SAID THE ENDING SUCKED!!! IT DID NOT SUCK AT ALL, I LOVED IT!!!! I REALLY WANNA HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ABOUT THIS SOOOOOO BAD, BUT I ONLY KNOW OF LIKE...ONE OR TWO OTHER PEOPLE WHO'VE FINISHED IT AND I DON'T HAVE CONTACT WITH EITHER OF THEM!!!!